Last week, I read and shared a blog post from Alexandra Franzen titled “How Hard Are Trying Really?” It was a virtual calling to the carpet. And, it worked.
I encourage you to read her full post but to recap she basically talks about personal experiences of how she wanted for something, kind of worked for it, and when it didn’t happen settled on explanations like, “It wasn’t my time.” Sound familiar?
I thought so.
Alexandra says,
You say you’re ready for your first big media opportunity (or a promotion, or your dream job, or a bustling, thriving business). But you hide behind your computer screen, sending emails to try to woo people and move things forward, figuring “Hey, that’s enough! I SENT AN EMAIL AFTER ALL.” But seriously, now. How hard are you trying, really?
Then, she continues to check us…
The gnarly truth is that, usually, we’re not operating at full capacity. We refuse to dig deep. We don’t want to tolerate even a moment of temporary discomfort, even when we know it’s a necessary part of the journey to excellence. We make excuses. We flake out & hold back.
Truth is, I’m guilty of this exact same thing (and I suspect most of us are):
- I’ve said that I wanted to drop a few pounds (I have this baby back fat that hides itself really well) but I talk about it and move around here and there, while one of my sister friends goes hard at the gym each and every day. How bad do I want it really?
- I’ve said that I want to get rid of my remaining debt once and for all but then I don’t value myself like I should when it comes to my business (even though I’m damn good at what I do – weird). I get downright nervous about quoting fees. How bad do I want it really?
- I’ve said that I wanted people to read and love on my blog but then I’ll go three months without posting (not again – you may notice I’ve been posting nearly every day). How bad do I want it really?
Why do we do this?
What’s up with the self-sabotage?
And then whining about why there is no change. But as Alexandra says,
“Don’t be mad about the results you didn’t get from the work you didn’t do.”
Our failure to do is typically not because we don’t know what to do. It’s because we are more comfortable settling than doing the uncomfortable work and making it happen. For instance, my discomfort around stating fees is a result of some mental blocks I have about money. I just don’t know what they are yet. I have to get uncomfortable and do the work to figure it out.
I have another question…
If we don’t believe in settling in relationships why are we okay settling in other aspects of our lives?
When we talk about settling in relationships its usually in conjunction with what the other person is not doing:
- I don’t want to settle for someone who isn’t motivated.
- I don’t want to settle for someone who doesn’t have good values.
- I don’t want to settle for someone who doesn’t [insert that thing].
It’s outward facing.
It’s easy to call other folks out and talk about what they aren’t doing. But how often do we call ourselves out in the same way? Exactly. Our unwillingness to get up and do the work is us taking the passenger seat in our own lives. We are settling for whatever life throws at us.
I was listening to a Periscope by Tiphani Montgomery and she said a lot of times it’s not that we don’t know what to do. Or even that we are scared of it not working in our favor…
We are actually scared of winning. We are scared of success. We are scared of power.
I want to challenge us to value ourselves more, get uncomfortable, and do the work anyways.
Stop doing the minimum requirements.
Think about one huge area where you have been bs’ing in your business. What is possible if you actually put forth some real effort?
Now that you’ve named that thing come share it with us in the Creative Genius Society group so we can hold you accountable.